of my little town of misfits.

The gym is a place that I frequent...like a hooker would treat her crabs...many times a week.  The time I spend there is often filled with Techno blasting in my ears to drown out the sounds of people grunting and breathing heavily...I think there is a hooker reference in there somewhere.  I tend to get bored easily and the fact that I go so often tends to make me either change up my routine, or the have fun in my mind.  Often times, I name the people, based on how they act, or what they always wear, so I figured I would let you all into my mind to get a glimpse of its.......awesomeness.

-Be warned-

First of all there are the hot guys:
These guys do not tend to have names, as such, more so they are names after body parts...I will let you all use your mind to fill in the blanks as you see fit.

The Pepsi machine refill guy:
He comes in and is always wearing the uniform you see people wearing when they fill up a pepsi machine...there is no logo though, I think he is a poser.

Peter Pan:
The large man (large in an elephant muscle sense) wears a baggy shirt and.............leggings.  They are the type of pants that you would see on like a road biker, tight, tight, tight, spandex style leggings.  Not much is left to the imagination, it is a good thing he wears the baggy shirt, however not all the time.

The snack machine vendor:
Similar to the Pepsi guy, he wears a uniform that reminds me of someone that refills snack machines...again, no logo.

She Ra:
This lady is aptly named, as she is a solid brick, and could probably kill me without breaking a nail or messing up her hair...really scary. 

Elephant Man:
Named for his resemblance to an elephant...he cannot walk well because he is so muscular...it's really gross.

Steve:
I named him that because he is the typical old gay guy in the gym that is very obvious when he watches the guys work out...the name Steve just fit for some reason.

Toad:
This short Hispanic guy has the body shape of a toad-human hybrid...hence the name.

Jehovah:
He is an older guy that brings a portable cd player to the gym....yeah....and often hands out cd's of music from his church.

Lady me:
This chick often does the same things that I do and is at the same level of fitness, she is just in lady form....as apposed to me in half lady form.

Diaper:
He smells really bad, some days like body odor, some days worse.  I try to stay away from him as much as I can.

Shaniqua:
She is a typical Shaniqua, with huge hoop earrings, weave up, nails did, talks on her cell phone while walking on the treadmill, wears loud clothing, and is altogether sassy as all get out.

Richard:
As is Simmons, he looks and acts like him, no joke, pretty creepy!

Pal:
He seems to be everyone's friend, whether they know him or not.  His greeting is: "Alright now!" which will illicit the response: "Alright!"  It is many people that respond this way to him, so I am not sure if they all are in the same book club, or if  this may be some type of straight male greeting...either way, I have yet to figure it out.

I know there are more, however I cannot think of them right now.  These are the most prominent that I see on a regular basis, I have others that I really only think of when I see them.  I will try to keep you all updated as my travels to-and-fro the gym.  Looking back at the names, it seems my gym is a colorful place, I wonder what my nickname is?  Surely there is someone out there as strange cool as me!  It is probably something sassy, as I tend to bob my head or really get diva when I am running on the treadmill and a song I like comes on.

The televisions are a whole topic in themselves.  In the cardio area, there are about 10 tv's and the shows they pick often make sense; sports center, cnn, the travel channel.  There are those that are common place for the housewives; Maury, The View, Jerry Springer, the food network.  Often times on the weekend they play cartoons...I have never understood this, as there are not many children sweating to the oldies on the elliptical while watching The Magic School Bus!  Another thing about the tv's, is the fact that all of the commercials seem to be related to food!!  Maybe I am just focusing on those because they are better than watching ads for law offices, but the other day for instance, I was running along, almost to the top of the mountain in 'Kilimanjaro sequence' on the incline step machine, when a commercial for butter came on.  I was freaking mesmerized!!!  Watching the butter drop into a bowl of peas and slowly melt into them, or being spread on bread!!  I felt like I was a zombie and a brain was placed in front of me!! 

Enough type and more action is required now though, I am actually headed to the gym in a few minutes.  I will be able to say hello to all of my colorful neighbors as I grunt and sweat right along with them.  We are a little like that whore house; we have the good, the bad, and the ugly...with a few normal people just trying to pass the time.