Movie Review - The Expendables

I told Chris that there was absolutely no way I would go see this movie with him, however the promise of breaking diet and eating movie theater popcorn broke my fragile spirit; the movie in question was The Expendables.  Now, you all know me, and know that I am DEFIANTLY one to call out the elephant in the room.  This movie was, quite possibly, the worst pile of garbage I have ever seen in my life...and yes, I have seen Twilight, and Indiana Jones 4. 

I should have known something was terribly wrong when the opening credits were rolling and the film was written and directed by Sylvester Stallone...oh, and he is the main actor.  Magical.  Touching on the actors, it was supposed to be awesome because all of these famous action actors were all together on the same movie and that has never happened before.  Well most of them are ancient now, Sylvester and his over collagened lips were probably the worst of the bunch.  In some parts they actually had to speed up the reel so it looks like he was actually running and doing damage to a foe.  He is also so hard to understand when he talks so most of the movie I was trying to translate his grunts and slurs.

The actors that would have made sense to put as more important characters like Bruce Willis, whom has a ton more actual skill when it comes to acting, had such a small part in comparison.  Jet Li was still good, but he has been in peak condition his whole life and probably only eats rice.  Jason Statham was the other main character and he is very easy on the eyes...which is one of the reasons why I didn't just get up and walk out...that and my weird quirk of having to see something all the way to the end. 

Angel from Dexter was supposed to play an evil dictator from this island...keep your day job detective.

There was plenty of blood, explosions, horrible punchlines, fake looking graphics, and lots of knives and axes gong into bad guys that looked really dumb.

I suppose I shouldn't go into too much detail as I may ruin this wonderful film..........................................................................*cough*.......................................................................

If you couldn't tell by now...I didn't like the movie.  This is however, just my opinion...I invite you to go see this atrocity and then tell me just how much I am right. 

I think if i was asked if I wanted to see this movie again I would have to say that I would rather hang out with these people...

Enough said.