Change.

For a while now I have been thinking of changing the things in my life that I am not happy or proud of.  I am not really sure what exactly acted as the catalyst for change, I just know that I am tired of feeling the way I do.

Chris and I are finally taking control of our money, it is no real secret that we like to spend it.  Well that is going to go the way of the dinosaurs.  Thanks to the book and Catherine and Terry recommended (Total Money Makeover) we are going to start making budgets, and truly becoming "gazelle-intense" like the book describes.  I think when it comes to Chris and I, that the shopping and impulse spending was largely due to me :) so I am taking a dose of reality and confronting my habit.........yes that means that I will not be buying any new underwear for a while!!  It will be tough, I am preparing myself for great withdraws but I know that in the end it will all be worth it.

I think, for me, my biggest regret is not finishing college.  I had been in classes ever since high school, I got my two year and then started focusing on my degree in Environment Science.  I was a bit into that when we decided to move to NC.  Well since I had to live here for a year so I didn't have to pay out of state tuition, that was put on the back burner.  Then, right when I could have started in this state we bought the house and things were A LOT different.  We were now paying double what we were used to paying at the apartment.  I am sure many people have stories like this full of explanations for why they stopped, I know that life throws curve balls at everyone, and I am not trying to say it was not my fault.  I just know that I am tired of feeling like crap for working in retail and am SO ready for a change.  I know that a degree will not guarantee me a better job, better pay, better life.  I just know that if I am moving forward with change, then maybe it will help this feeling of stagnancy.  I applied to UNC and they have a degree that is very similar to what I want to do, Earth Science, so I am hopeful.  It will be a couple weeks before I hear anything, I am just glad that all of my prerequisites are out of the way and I can focus on what I actually want to do.  One of my biggest worries all this time, and I think one that most retail environments try to brainwash you with is that I will most likely not be making as much money.  I make decent money, but a lot of the stuff that I want to do will likely make me less than this.  I am finally to the point now when I can say I don't care, if I can come home from a job that I love going to, that makes me happy, even if I take a pay cut it will be worth it.  Constantly, I am coming home in a horrible mood, bitching about this or that, and I am tired of living this toxic life.  I am sure it affects Chris because he, and Jamie, get the brunt of it.  I just know that if someone asks what I do for a living, it would be so great to say that I work on environmental issues as apposed to saying I sell hamsters and deal with idiot customers all day.

I am also going to start doing things that I have always had a passion for.  The biggest of those is working with blown glass.  I just found a guy that teaches basic and advanced glass working, with small torches.  This is the perfect way for me to start into this hobby!  His classes aren't the cheapest, but if it something that I love doing it will be so worth it!  And, if I am good at it, maybe I can sell the stuff!

His beginning class:



Introduction to Lampworking/Flameworking (HG100)     
This class focuses on:     
(1) Giving the students basic information regarding safety in the studio     
(2) Discussing the various types of torches and other tools used in the studio     
(3) Explaining the different types of glass commonly in use in the artistic     
glassworker’s studio     
(4) Exposing the students to the various types of glass work a lampworker can choose     
to become proficient in     
(5) Giving the students time for hands-on experience with hot glass, primarily     
learning to make a basic bead with soft glass     
The class is typically offered on a schedule of: two hours in the morning, a lunch break,     
then 3-4 hours after the break. Our intention is to schedule classes on Saturdays,     
primarily, but with the option of using a week-day if there is sufficient interest.     
Classes are limited to four students. Instructional fee is $190.00, and includes all     
materials and equipment necessary for a safe, educational, experience. A non-refundable     
deposit of $50.00 is required with registration. Withdrawal notice given two weeks or     
more before class date will allow you to apply your deposit to the fee for a later class.     

His other classes get more exciting, but I figure this one will let me get my feet wet :)  I have always been as an artistic person, and think this would allow me to express that in a manner that I think is amazing!

Now, with this costing money, school, and normal bills I know that you may be wondering how I will be doing this with the new budget and money makeover.  I think I may take up stripping...I have been going to the gym and have changed my body and think I could make decent money, I mean I am no Greek god, but I think I could at least make enough to cover the new things I want to do.  I will just need to get updated on my vaccinations and drink plenty of orange juice.......

Ok, well I hope you knew that I was just joking, however glamorous that does sound.  I am going to try to get another part time job though.  I am not sure what yet, because it will have to work around my PETCO schedule.  Another retail job would make the most sense, however I already hate people, I think another retail job, especially at a new place where I am at the bottom of the food chain, would make me even worse.  Right now I have certain freedoms and can basically make my own schedule.  I don't think I could work at a restaurant because I don't like touching strangers food, especially after they have already eaten some of it.  I was thinking working at a bank, because I have years of experience with money, but I think there would be too much conflict with my schedule now.  I am more leaning toward something that I would like, something that is away from what I am used to.  I love being outside and working, maybe working for a plant nursery, or on a farm?  I don't know, I am just thinking about this now, so I will keep you guys updated, if you have a suggestion please let me know!

I am also going to try to pick up new hobbies, the glass work has been top on my list forever, but nothing will be voted off now.  Chris has wanted me go do karate classes with him, well Chris, make the call! Catherine has made me interested in scrap booking, I want to learn more about cooking, gardening, soo many things!  I am not going to push them aside anymore, I am tried of living week to week in the same routine.

I have never talked so much about things like this because I have always felt embarrassed or nervous about what people would say about it.  Even if I still feel like that, I am glad that I am finally making a change and am going to start doing the things I want to, and living life to its fullest.  I hung a plaque in the house recently that says, "Don't get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life."  I am going to live by that philosophy and not let anything get me down.  I am ready to experience new things and not be restrained by what people think.

Watch out world here I come!